Life: Change

Change.

Life goes on, does it not? We all live on, every step, every breath, every second, is our lives. Time may seem to go so slow, but in reality it goes so fast. It only seems yesterday I was at highschool. Yet at the same time, it feels like such a long time ago.

But things change, people change, you learn, you live. I was talking to Myky today, about the past, and the present. It honestly only seemed like yesterday that I was at school, talking to her, hanging out. Now I barely get to see her. But things have changed, things are different.

Whether we realise it or not, whether it's intentional, or not, we all change, some how. We all, live on.

I remember having a conversation with Rica. We were a couple at the time, talking about life, talking about the future, we would always say "dont change, I love you the way you are". Now we all know that didn't pan out, we're obviously no longer together. But we did change, yes indeed. We travel such different paths, and we're such different people. Well, at least I am.

Change is not always bad, change is a part of us, it is who we are. But at the same time, change is brought upon by our past.

I hate my past. I was just, so terrible. But my past experiences are what made me who I am today. 

My past consists of being an outcast, a social reject, being teased. I've always felt this feeling of isolation, just wanting to fit in. I was jealous of those who had it better than me, those who were popular, or attractive. But it made me who I am today. I made a choice to become a better person, to prove those people who picked on me wrong. I was fat, I was helpless, I was picked on, even at church of all places.

But I guess, it's those things that made me want to prove people wrong, and change. But I didn't do it for them, I did it for myself.

Sometimes change is intentional, sometimes change just happens.  But just remember, that no matter what changes, or what stays the same, it's who you are. Maybe you're not happy with yourself.. but if not, do something about it? The important thing is to be content with yourself, and be your own person. Friends come and go, relationships come and go, but in the end, you want people to like you, or love you, for who you are. Not for the person you're pretending to be.

Don't expect everything to stay the same, change is inevitable, even if you try to stop it. We all grow from experiences, we all grow more mature. We learn, we adapt, we change.

Change isn't bad, nor is it good. Change just exists.

Andre Liu.

Life: Choices

Choices.

Everyday we make choices, we make decisions. Through these things, we pave our path in life. Every decision, every choice, leads to different parallel universe, in stems from another, and another.

But pondering on these parallel universes do not matter, as they cannot ever intersect with our current present. The truly important thing is how exactly we make our choices, how we pave our paths, how we choose to lead our lives. Our decisions define us, they show who we are. Our choices, our decisions, they reflect who we are, as individuals.

Choosing a path is easy. Sometimes, knowing the right path, is very easy. The hard part is committing to a path, and sticking to it, no matter what the consequence. I'm not saying that sometimes compromise isn't necessary, it very well could be. But for the use of a very cliche line: Knowing the path is not the same as walking the path. 

I've been told many times that I should be a psychiatrist, because I give very good advice. People tell me their problems, I see the path they should take, I tell them about it. Its not as hard as people think, really.. But knowing their path the easy part, they need to be able to take the appropriate steps to improve themselves, or the situation. An outsider perspective allows situations to be seen a lot better, provided they have the correct information. 

I often come to situations in life where I think what the fuck am I supposed to do now. I can give good advice, sure. But do I follow my own advice? yeah I wish buddy. Maybe I see the path I should take, but choose not to. This situation is what many people come across when it comes to dilemmas, or when its time to make a decision.

For example, I can tell you exactly how to get a 7 in all your subjects. Easy bro, you ready? Study every night, 3 hours a night minimum, until your exams. Its true, it'll get you a 7. Will you do it? I doubt it.

So, how do you lose weight, how do you get fit? Very simple. Run every day, stop eating shit, go to a gym. I could go on, with all these situations.

Sometimes deep down we all know the situation, we all know how to improve ourselves, how to solve a situation, how to get out of a situation. Sometimes deep down, we ask for guidance, because we don't want to admit the facts to ourselves. We're scared of the truth, or maybe we don't have the balls to face reality, and do what needs to be done.

But, there are situations when we honestly do not know what to do, which path to take. Ask for advice, ask for opinions, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! But remember one thing:

 Knowledge is power

You can ask for opinions, advice, but in the end, you know more about the situation than most. You know more than anybody else about whatever problem is going on with your life, so trust yourself to do whats best for you.

When you choose a path, make sure to stick to it. make sure you can commit to making things better, don't relapse. I mean, if compromise and change is necessary, then do it, so long as it's the right thing to do.

These are your choices.

These are my contemplations.

Andre Liu 

Emotion: Regret

Regret.

As humans, we all experience the emotion of regret. The feeling of wanting to change the past, to change the mistakes we've made. Its only natural, isn't it? We all make mistakes, whether we made bad choices or we had skewed judgement.

We all at one point in life think:
man I wish I did something differently back then.
or perhaps we think:
What would have happened if this one thing had been different..
or maybe even
I wish I was more appreciative about this certain thing

To ponder on regret is never ending. I hate it. You think what if or if only... But this can go in circles, and can be applied to so many different situations in life. It becomes a daydream, and sometimes somewhat of an obsession.

I have one ex girlfriend, just the one.
I regret chasing her so much.
We were in young love, we thought we loved each other, perhaps we did, but eventually push came to shove.. we broke up.

Not once, not twice. five times, believe it or not. I loved her. I chased her so much, back and forth, staying dedicated to her, finding ways to win her back, eventually yeah, I did win her back, multiple times. So many things happened, so much pain, so much confusion, but was it worth it?

hell no.
I regret chasing her. I mean, we had certain circumstances, but I should have let her go, and moved on, much earlier than I did.It was stupid of me to keep chasing her, the more she took me back, I thought the more I had a chance of keeping her forever. I thought that she would be my one and only.

We may regret now, but if I think back to that time, when I chased her.. Was it worth it? YES.  yes it was. The thing we must remember is that everything is so much clearer in hindsight. Did you struggle in school 2 years ago? Probably.  Does the thing you learnt two years ago seem easy now? Of course.

When considering regret, we must realise that at the time of the decision, we made the decision that made the most sense to us at the time. All decisions, all problems, are a matter of perspective.

We must not feel bad about the decisions we've made in the past, we must not regret.
Regret all you like, go on. Day dream about what if or what could be or if only.
In the end, the past will not change. We all do things for a reason, whether your judgement was skewed, whether you weren't even sober, things happen, we all take action.

We cannot change the past, and for this reason, we should not regret.

Take all your mistakes, take all your regrets, and learn from them.
Do not let your mistakes put you down.
Life is full of mistakes, life is full of regrets. The important thing is to take all these things, and learn from them. Learn from them and take your experience with you, into the next situation. Take what you've learnt, take what you did wrong, and do the next thing better.

Take your negatives, turn them into positives. Do not regret, but reflect on your experiences.
Regret is a daydream, no matter how much you regret, the past will not change.
But to reflect on your past, is a way to better your future self.

Trust me, you'll thank yourself later.


These are your emotions.
These are my contemplations.
Andre Liu.